Northwest Ohio Christian Counseling Blog

Thanks to David Munn, CFP, at Munn Wealth Management, Maumee, Ohio, for this article!  Great tips!

Even if you have not always been the perfect model for financial responsibility, you can help your children learn to make prudent financial decisions from a young age. Raising money-savvy children who understand the importance of financial responsibility will help put them on the path to success, as well as help you avoid the burden of supporting them in adulthood. Following are some simple tips to help you teach your child how to properly manage their money: Learning the basics - Talking to 2-6 year olds Teach your child the difference between a "need" and a "want". Teach your child how to integrate basic math skills when handling money, such as counting, addition and subtraction. Teach your children the importance saving for the future and giving by dividing their earnings into three parts: saving, spending and giving. Introduce a piggybank or alternative place where your children can save their money and keep track of it to reach a concrete goal. Let them experience the disappointment of not having the personal savings to make a desired purchase. Don't bail them out, regardless of how cute they are! If they never experience disappointment, they'll never fully understand the value of saving. Earning, Saving and Fostering Financial Awareness - Talking to 7-12 year olds Take advantage of first-hand shopping experiences with your children. Talk them through the spending decisions you make at restaurants, grocery stores, department stores, etc. You child will quietly observe and absorb your financial values, so be a good model! Teach your child how to make and receive proper change when using cash. Demonstrate the purpose of using debit or credit cards and the importance of maintaining receipts and reconciling statements. Give your child opportunities to earn money around the house with special projects. This will teach them about work ethic and taking initiative. Challenge them to save for long term goals and help them avoid impulse purchases by thinking through any spending decisions. Preparing for Independence - Talking to teenagers Open a checking and savings account for your children once they reach the teenage years, if they do not already have one. Teach them how to balance a checkbook and utilize a savings account. Consider introducing a debit or credit card, once they are responsible enough to handle it. You might start with a debit card then move to a credit card once they have proven they understand the implications of paying with "plastic". Stay involved in their finances and talk through financial decisions as they start jobs and begin making more money, but respect their right to privacy and be willing to step back if they resist your counsel. It's their money and if there is ever a good time for them to learn from financial mistakes, it's now. When they file taxes for the first time, you or the tax preparer should walk them through the return and ensure they understand each component. Help them learn the basics of investing, either yourself or with an advisor. As long as they have earned income, they qualify to open a Roth IRA and begin investing money that can be used for college, a first home, or retirement. Even as your children graduate and leave home, make yourself available as a financial resource. Don't be afraid to ask financial questions, but only to the extent that you and they are comfortable. If they're not willing to share with you, refer them to an advisor you trust that will help guide them as their income and expenses grow.

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Josh McDowell,  renown author and speaker, has published a concise book addressing 39 topics teens and young people talk about among themselves. His passion is to educate not only the young people, but also their parents and youth leaders.  Josh has done extensive research in presenting The Bare Facts and his style is "no nonsense" and straight forward. This book includes his responses to such questions as:

• "Can sex affect my brain?"
• "Can you get a shot or take an antibiotic if you get an STD?"
• "Is oral sex really sex?"
• "Isn't it better if we live together first?"
• "Isn't premarital sex really great preparation for good sex in marriage?"
• "Is sexting wrong?"
• "How can I know if a person loves me?"
• "How does pornography really affect me?"

I recommend this book to parents of teens and those involved in youth ministry.  Be ready. Don't assume your teen or young adult is not asking these questions.

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At some point in time you may have experienced a back problem ranging anywhere from that occasional twinge to being flat on your back for a few days.  Physical back problems can run the gamut from inconvenient to debilitating.

Many people today suffer from other kinds of "back problems" - holding on to grudges, anger, blame, hurts, unforgiveness, regret, etc.  These "back problems" can be just as devastating as the physical ones.  They keep us from experiencing all the blessings of our lives today.   I am realizing that life is too short to hang on to these "back problems". 

Psalm 90:12 contains this thought: "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom".  Personally, I'd rather have a wise heart than a sore back.

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In his book, The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player, John Maxwell has retold the story of a ham radio operator who overheard an older gentleman giving advice to a younger man.
"It's a shame you have to be away from home and family so much," he said. "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities. You see, one day I sat down and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about 75 years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in his lifetime.

"It took me until I was 55 years old to think about this in any detail," he continued, "and by that time I had lived through over 2,800 Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be 75, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy."
He went on to explain that he bought 1,000 marbles and put them in a clear plastic container in his favorite work area at home. "Every Saturday since then," he said, "I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

Then the older gentleman finished, "Now let me tell you one last thought before I sign off and take my lovely wife out to breakfast. This morning,I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday, then I have been given a little extra time."

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."  Psalm 90:12.

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Let's face it.  We women seem to have a boat load of expectations for others, but particularly for ourselves.  While many years have past, it seems as though some of us are stuck in the mindset portrayed in this 70's commercial.  We can have it all and do it all.  Well, maybe for about a nanosecond.

Reality tells us we have limited energy and time, yet the "to do list" grows. That's just the tyranny of the shoulds we put on paper!  There may be more beliefs or expectations we carry around in our heads.

 Okay, so we're plagued with great expectations. What do we do about it?  Let me suggest this process. Begin by writing down your values or priorities - what's really important to you.  Next, check your calendar. Does how you spend your time reflect these? Identify those activites that don't support your values or priorities. Which of these can you delegate? Are there some that need to be discontinued? Let one of those expectations or shoulds go.  Is it easy? No, but there's no amount of perfume that can rival the freedom from great (unrealistic) expecations!

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